Why success flows from your Comfort Zone

In October 2018, I wrote “What if your success lies in your comfort zone?” I had started refining my strategy consulting framework to be less directive and more inviting, so that my solutions really incorporated the whole person. I no longer just wanted technical business accuracy and streamlining. I had begun to realize, years earlier, that that approach is why so many consulting reports are collecting dust on shelves. More importantly, I had begun to realize that, holding space for my clients to hear themselves, before we even touched technical business challenges, actually brought a lot of the solution forward, from clients themselves! That was empowering for all involved, myself included, and those experiences changed my “feasible schedules” service, considerably.

Your comfort zone is your friend

It is not boring, it is not a prison, it is where you breathe most deeply, where you feel safe and secure, where you are most confident. Your stretch zone is just beyond the boundary of your comfort zone, and often eventually becomes your new comfort zone, as you grow and evolve authentically and at your own pace. The stretch zone differs in breadth by risk threshold, so everyone's is different in different areas of their lives. The panic zones is beyond your stretch zone, and as the name implies, is where you're likely to panic because you feel like you've lost the reigns of whatever you're diving into.

The stretch zone is not a zone you're meant to live in, lest the excitement it is meant to bring, turns into overwhelm or fear, which paralyses us. Your stretch zone is there to invite you to grow and expand in areas you intrinsically are ready to, excited to, grow and expand in. Healthy expansion through your stretch zone, simply expands your comfort zone. So you still wind up in your comfort zone. It is where you celebrate where you are, recognize your value, and rest in calm, genuine confidence, until you're ready for a new shift. All of this is innate. When you have someone pushing you into or out of any of those zones, they stop functioning as they should i.e. the excitement it is meant to bring, turns into stress or fear, which paralyses us.

In my earlier post, I wrote:

“What if your comfort zone is where your greatest success lies? Why not work with your existing habits, rhythms and skill set to serve your clients? That's where you're most confident. It's where you can actually focus on Clients, because your brain isn't wrapped up in all you have to change about yourself! How would this change how You do business?

“If you need to be more profitable, if you need to slow down to think (or for health reasons), if you're just starting your business and intend to start as you mean to go on! This is where sustainable business begins - mindfully taking the time to know who you already are. You may decide to change, but you'll be doing so from a place of power.”

I stand by that, today, even in the face of all the mass popularism of the phrase “get out of your comfort zone”. We can't wonder why anxiety, burnout and mental health challenges are at an all-time high, when this is what we purport. Your comfort zone does not ask you to remain static. It beckons the stretch zone when you want to (not have to or are supposed to) learn a new skill set or change a habit, but it does so without draining you, when it comes from within.

For a minute, slow down enough to think it all the way through. We begin to realize that, while it may seem like people are “stuck in the their comfort zones” - it's not usually their comfort zones, but limbo - they're more than likely already in their stretch or panic zones in areas of their lives that we cannot see. I have not met anyone, yet, for whom this is not true. Doesn't it hold true for you? It is true for me, as well.

From continuous improvement and perfectionism to inspired action

I spent a whole year in my newsletter, now called “Conversations with Crystal-Marie”, inviting my readers to press pause on continuous improvement, and spend the year embracing “what already is” about themselves. Each month, in a different area, I tried to remind them to celebrate who they are already, and to see where that person has already gotten them, ro-date. The invitation we to practice self-acceptance in everything before moving to the next goal. Celebrate! Enjoy feeling secure! That is important.

While our brains thrive on a responsibility / reward cycle, the command (not invitation) “get out of your comfort zone”, tells you to spend life under stress. It vilifies your comfort zone, so that it begins to represent laziness and complacency, instead of the purpose it actually serves - to ground you in the positive joys and confidence born of your experiences.

Enter inspired action. When we have filled our proverbial cups - with love, confidence, rest and rejuvenation, celebration and rewards - energy overflows as love, excitement, inspiration and motivation to create, do or simply be.

This year, I hope to take the step from sitting with “what is”, as it is, with no pressure to act, to letting the energy born of that embrace, invite me to act, create or simply be. As I do so, I will invite my readers, through “Conversations with Crystal-Marie”, to do the same. The goal is to keep the same energy going, and not revert to “I have to be better, different, something other than myself as I am now”. We want to always start from a place of, “I'm in love with who I am currently. I'd just also like to explore…”

Honouring your individual sovereignty

I hope what is clear here is that your comfort, stretch and panic zones are all your own, and only you are clear on when you are ready to expand or contract, and why. Individual sovereignty states that as healthy individuals, we are the most capable of governing our own lives, and in our own timing. Tough to do when you have someone breathing down your neck, infringing on your right to slow down or change course, if your intuition leads you to.

Feel free to try it in some small way, to see if any of this makes sense for you. Refrain from changing something you were going to change for someone else, that you're okay with. See how relaxed you are not having to remember that change, and how much more energy you therefore have available for clients, your loved ones and yourself. If your business honours who you already are, you minimize imposter syndrome, insecurity, anxiety, andrenal fatigue. You instead find calm and gentle clarity, confidence, ease and flow. I would love to know if you tried it.

Need a speaker or consulting for this?

I am happy to help, if you want to establish something more grounding. See what strategy services resonate with you the most, or if your audience needs this, explore my talks to see what fits.

In genuine appreciation

I have to thank Chris Irwin founder of Measure of Success, Judy Walsh founder of The Habit Interpeter and Marg Hachey managing director of Ontario and Eastern Canada and Chair of several boards at GroYourBiz™ Advisory Boards, coach, mentor, serial entrepreneur, founder of Duocom Canada Inc and more, for taking me off the fence, on this approach to consulting.

Chris Irwin, as my negotiations lecturer during the MBA at the Schulich School of Business, York University, and, later, as a mentor, willing to flesh out my process with me, truly embodied holding space - even creating space - for those around him to actually be more fully themselves.

Judi Walsh, whom I met while I was on the Toronto GroYourBiz™ Advisory Board, opened my eyes to just how much experiences shape our habits, and how much energy it takes to change a habit. She really opened my eyes to the importance of self-acceptance and acknowledging all aspects of ourselves.

Marg Hachey, I would imagine that everyone who knows her has a similiar story, but she met me at a time when I did not trust readily. As the chair of our GroYourBiz™ Advisory Board, she really took those walls down, because she never ever pushed. She genuinely respected my free will - individual sovereignty - and only ever invited me into conversations or to consider different angles. I have met many who were supposedly even half as successful as she has been, only to find petty intimidation tactics and philosophies in their employ. I believe when people are truly comfortable within themselves, there's only ever encouragement overflowing from them. Marg truly emulates this. She is true leadership.

I had indeed been nurtured to direct, even if some of that seems to be inherent. I'm sure I'll find out more as I go further in my own self-discovery. Still, I have found that inviting creates a far more organic interaction, and the result feels far more natural. I'm also able to be completely myself with clients, with this new approach. It is truly rejuvenating.

I hope this inspires you. You are worth it, and so are those who truly need you, whole.

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About Crystal-Marie

Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, is a dedicated mom, keynote speaker, author and strategy consultant. As author and speaker, Crystal-Marie is focused on resilience through authenticity, self-acceptance and individual sovereignty. Her business talks are around mindful entrepreneurship through pricing, lean process, and feasible schedules for inspired creativity and focused productivity. She also delivers corporate training around client-centric social media strategy. As a strategy consultant, and president and founder of Crystal-Marie Sealy—previously Successiory (2011-2019)—Crystal-Marie's signature "Mindful Entrepreneurship for Mindful Affluence™" empowers premium service professionals to create businesses they can truly thrive in. Good-bye rate race. Hello blue ocean. Earn more. Work less. Serve better clients, better. Connect with Crystal-Marie at www.CrystalMarieSealy.com