Why Self First is so important

"SELF. The healed, whole Self. Discovered, loved, nurtured, knows compassion because it experienced it first within. It is This Self who can Truly Love others. Please don't be shamed out of putting Self First."

— Crystal-Marie Sealy

**This first paragraph may trigger some** Self First is not narcissism. In fact, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is the complete lack of self. The need to be seen and validated externally is absolute, with a true narcissist. They literally cannot access their inner world. There is no accessible self. Hence the resentment of those they need, and the rage. So please stop waving the word "Narcissist" around if you have no clue about this dangerous disorder — both to the soul living with it, and to those around them. You're doing damage, whether enabling abuse or dismissing it. Please Stop.Paragraph ends here.**

SELF-DISCOVERY. Knowing yourself means you know how you feel, your body, your mind, your strengths and non-strengths, your esoteric body, your energy body, your many different aspects. It is knowing that this process is a lifelong one. It is in self-discovery that we Know our beliefs, our values, our ideas, our needs, our True desires, our ego, our primal mind, etc. All unique, literally. These Cannot be taught. You have to discover yourself. This is the feminine, internal, dark (not bad, but safe cocoon) part of the human journey. The inner world.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE. Accepting is Not quite loving, but it's a huge step. It is in knowing yourself so well that you know, then, that both our Divine Light and Shadow are Love energy. That the Shadow self is not the self that has become Toxic because it had to become distorted to survive the society we live in. But that the Shadow is the side that shows up to either gently call us (or loudly drag us, after one too many calls) back to safety, thriving, ease and well-being. It is vilified by those who are afraid to or cannot access their inner world, and advisor or coach roles that get paid because we haven't truly accepted ourselves enough to simply observe. We haven't yet developed self-trust.

SELF-LOVE. But those who know their Shadow, find an unshakable calm and power within that has nothing to do with anyone else. Peace. We know that the ego is misunderstood because of toxic distortion, and needs love, healing and security to return to its divine state. We don't fall for the current fad of getting out of your comfort zone, because we understand that every block, every ebb and flow in life is important and we honour the mystery, letting it unfold as it will. We know that ready, yes, sometimes comes with apprehension, but there's far more exhilaration than apprehension when we are ready to stretch or expand our comfort zone.

This knowing is intuitive. So it asks that we develop our Trust Iin our Intuition. Your intuition is already there. I met a psychologist once (a man, highly attuned) who said “Intuition is >2,000,000 years old. Your cerebral cortex, ~150,000. It will need time to catch up.” You can't always explain what you know intuitively, but you always “knew you should have listened”. Trust it.

Self-love doesn't want us to be perfect at all. It finds the lovely mess irresistible Exactly as we are. Literally. It will love us bmto well-being and evolution at our own pace, but it fully knows and accepts the Self. It doesn't offer continuous improvement or constant “correction”. It Loves.

And please note. It is not conceited to quote yourself. When it reaches the right people, your self-quotes will show up as authenticity, as an individual learning and growing in self-discovery and self-acceptance, overflowing into the world. And when one day we love ourselves, truly, these quotes will meet as parts of a global, universal puzzle completed. 🤗😉

I hope to do a proper video series on Self, when life allows. Some I'll share here, some will be for subscribers on Patreon, but it will likely all already be on this blog in some form or other.

The world, believe it or not, is evolving in love. Knowing ourselves allows us to truly stay conscious in that evolution, and allows true love to overflow. We can only share what we truly have within. ❤️ May you know yourself well and put yourself first, so that when you love, the beloved can truly tell. Your love inevitably overflows.

As always, embrace what resonates and release what doesn't, the inherent invitation.

In love, light and shadow, embracing all aspects of ourselves 🌺

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About Crystal-Marie

Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, is a dedicated mom, first, a two-time best-selling author and keynote speaker. She occasionally offers paid virtual keynotes for women and author readings for children. Crystal-Marie's focus is "Authenticity for Gentle Resilience" through self-acceptance, intuition and the feminine, honouring individual sovereignty. Her first children's book, "The Brave Little Puffer Fish Authenticity for Children", has rave reviews and a five-star rating on Amazon, and she has recently published her second children's book, “Edmus and Ferdmus Leave Home Mindfulness for Children”. Previously, as strategy consultant, president and founder of Crystal-Marie Sealy—previously Successiory (2011-2019)—Crystal-Marie's signature "Mindful Entrepreneurship for Mindful Affluence™" empowered service and intuition-based professionals, but this service is currently on hold. Connect with Crystal-Marie, if this resonates with you and your audience, at www.CrystalMarieSealy.com