Pay Equity. Our Inner Dialogue
/I have not said much on this topic, but Katie Langdon’s questions and her post inspired me to write this perspective on women and pay equity.
Pay Equity, Katie’s Post
If you didn’t click to read Katie’s post, and some of the conversation around it, here’s what she asked:
“Could we talk about pay parity?
I recently saw three CVs from one recruiter, for the same role. Even with the same experience, there were three different hourly rates, with the two males charging the most, and the female's rate the lowest by >£10.
I find this baffling.
We work really hard at trying to pay people their worth, in-line with each other, and industry standards. But there still feels like a long way to go.
Would love to hear how you tackle this and what you are doing to level the playing field.“
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised to see comments essentially saying “lower prices = better deal for me / my company”, but I was. The fact is that that is as deep as it goes for some. In honour of individual sovereignty, it is their right to focus that way. What matters is that we, as women, as any individual in these shoes, honour our own individual sovereignty as well, and focus on what we truly, intrinsically, want for our own lives.
In Response to Katie
My goal with all of my talks, writing and shared posts, is to encourage you to be comfortable loving exactly who you are. Of course, intended for those of you who truly resonate with my values and overarching message of individual sovereignty, mindful business, authenticity and self-acceptance—this will not resonate with everyone—the point of this post, is to ask you to step inside of yourself to find these answers, and to let the world fade away, for as long as you need, to hear yourself.
My comments (excluding hashtags):
“Totally hear you Katie Langdon, and in your responses to comments, that recruiters should be buffers on this, and that we all have an opportunity here to support women in raising their rates.
This is why I do a public talk, a workshop and a webinar on pricing. I work with entrepreneurs rather than freelancers or employees, but the message is the same. Setting better rates—our own part in pay parity / pay equity—starts with looking inward at our own self-worth, so that we are unapologetic in setting our rates (among other things). I believe my role is to help women (or anyone doubting) start that inner dialogue from a place of, "yes! Why not me?!" — Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, Mom
Two (2) Tips to stand more firmly on Pricing
Paraphrasing the last part of my comment, here, there are two (2) tools I've seen work in implementation, with clients or colleagues, in the professional services:
Stop working with hourly rates (and those who demand them) and start offering meaningful packages — it eliminates the drain of obsessive time tracking. That energy can now go into solutions, results and deeper client / colleague interactions.
Walk away from Anything that asks us to negotiate — way less stress. Plus, you only wind up working with those who want what you offer, valued at or above your package rates.
Both of these ideas go against the grain, but those who have tried it, feel it. They breathe more easily and are free to focus on what matters — delivering quality and genuinely listening, focusing on, clients and solutions. No burnout (not around pricing, at least) and these simple (not necessarily easy) steps organically lead to pay equity in professional services.
A Quick Reframe — Additional Comments
This one may not sit well at first, but perhaps
“… without the men charging more, perhaps we wouldn't notice how little we’re valuing ourselves.…” — Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, Mom, an additional comment.
What? Why would I say this? Beyond the men who can't stand women in the workplace (yes, it still is), there is an underbelly to women undervaluing themselves that is rooted in the nature of advice and support we get, that many men and others, do not.
Mind your mentors
The glare from the female senior executive when you talk about your ambitious project idea or getting a raise, often followed by the “get more experience” or worse “pay your dues”, conversation. If that lands when you're new — to a company, job, field — and you're not secure in your right to be anything you choose, it governs your self-talk for years to come.
A page from their book
Many men, however, even if they get that ‘advice’, shrug it off. Society has raised them to not accept things that hold them back. Not all, but many I've met. Taking a page from their knowledge—they know—that they have a right to go for what they want, helps us learn what they learned early on, while we were being taught to be polite and amicable — you're worth it.
Embracing the feminine
Not all women are feminine—even those who are, are not always, or are not entirely. Those who thrive in the feminine, who are inherently energized here, however, tend to burnout far faster in constant masculine energy environments—highly competitive, go-go, do-do, high-paced environments, with little space for emergent creativity or quiet inspiration.
The ask is not that we don't have high-paced environments, but that we respect more feminine environments and ways of being as well. I've written a bit that may help understand the difference between feminine and female, and feminine and feminist—here and here, respectively—if it helps clarify.
Learning more about the feminine, however, has made me realize that it's not bad that women agencies want to help ensure new businesses access quality services. It just can't be a business model. We don't want to lose feminine compassion. I tend to recommend this approach - pay your bills, live well, Then be generous with the overflow. In my blogpost “Money, well-being and the feminine professional”, I breakdown a simple mindset shift that honours a profitable business model, and allows you to have an overflow with far reaching impact, in supporting businesses that cannot yet afford your services.
Men do this innately (some, not all), and men who thrive in the masculine are also energized differently. I can't speak for all genders, but my observation has been that it also seems to be rooted in the different ways men and women are raised. On that airplane, men put their masks on first. That is critical.
Diving Deeper
Once you recognize that you're asking for considerably less than your peers, what others are doing or expect, however, are all external — and should not matter. What makes us adhere to sound pricing, begins intrinsically, with our self-talk. Are your prices lower because:
You feel guilty charging more? Or because you’re stooping to conquer?
You were shamed into charging less? Or because you balk at high prices, so you can't very well go charge them, now? (See my video on judgements on pricing.)
You believe you have to charge less until you have more experience / have paid your dues? Or you believe it will get you more rave reviews to share when you raise your prices?
Food for thought. I haven't given answers here, and have in no way covered all our self-talk questions, but in honour of your intrinsic wisdom, your individual sovereignty, I hope this invitation to be true to yourself, is what moves you alter (or keep) your pricing.
As always, my invitation is to embrace what resonates and release what doesn't for your own peace of mind — whether it comes from me or someone else.
Thank you for reading.
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About Crystal-Marie
Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, is a dedicated mom, keynote speaker, author and strategy consultant. As author and speaker, Crystal-Marie is focused on resilience through authenticity, self-acceptance and individual sovereignty. Her business talks are around mindful entrepreneurship through pricing, lean process, and feasible schedules for inspired creativity and focused productivity. She also delivers corporate training around client-centric social media strategy. As a strategy consultant, and president and founder of Crystal-Marie Sealy—previously Successiory (2011-2019)—Crystal-Marie's signature "Mindful Entrepreneurship for Mindful Affluence™" empowers premium service professionals to create businesses they can truly thrive in. Good-bye rate race. Hello blue ocean. Earn more. Work less. Serve better clients, better. Connect with Crystal-Marie at www.CrystalMarieSealy.com
