Give the Gurus a break. They're human.
/"No role models for me. Just great tips and insights that really resonate, from multiple sources." -- Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, Mommy.
I remember someone being upset that a much revered influencer said, "If you can't manage your own weight, how can you manage a business?" Now, this is one of those mainstay figure-head meditation gurus who's been around forever. My natural fierce-Momma instinct, made more so now that I have an actual baby, was to write him off completely - I mean, here was this person, an embodiment of perfection, being made to feel doomed to fail because someone, who doesn't even know that person, couldn't recognize that everyone... everyone... is great at some things and not at others.
We're all Human. Gurus too!
Thankfully, by then I'd already been on a long journey of awakening and mindfulness, and I remembered that "he's human". Whether he:
felt the human pressure to say something,
simply spoke because he's used to speaking and didn't think of the impact of his words,
actually believed what he said, in full awareness of the impact of his words,
It doesn't matter. He may never feel free enough to say, "I don't know" or "no one has all of the answers you need, but you do", but it's our responsibility to remember those truths.
Is that message for You?
Somewhere within you know that your influencers, gurus, role models, idols, are human. You know that your intuition is on point, despite the recent Deloitte ads mocking intuition on LinkedIn 😜.
The thing is, that's what happens when we consume more than we have the time and space to process and produce. By produce, I don't mean share, necessarily, but:
Hearing your own thoughts to see how what you hear / read / see really fits with your values and beliefs.
Journaling or using art expression to get your own ideas in front of you.
In fact, getting clear on your own values, beliefs and standards before you jump on the next shiny bandwagon.
"Read more books", "fill up on podcasts", "don't miss this <fill in the guilt trip blanks>", but why? Those messages may be for someone else out there. They're not necessarily for you. Does it fit your goals, your truth? If not, leave it with that person. You're free to honour your beliefs just as they're free to honour theirs.
Honour and be Gentle with Yourself
Now, what if this guru is speaking to some issue that you really do have to address? It's important to make time to know what matters to you, to accept yourself as you are, before taking strides to make those changes. Otherwise you wind up in a demoralized loop. Perhaps you can even leave room for the fact that perhaps your beliefs aren't what you thought they were.
I keep referring to Warren Buffett's Empty Schedules to create that space, not just for productivity, but for confidence and frankly for our sanity. Time and space are necessary if you're going to make peace with, hear and embrace yourself.
Do it your way
I'm an introvert, so this is my way of handling things, but what's your way of hearing and learning to trust yourself so you're not following any one person or group blindly?
Extroverts, trust your own process. John Ribeiro in a sense applies this to the "tribe" trend (great video). Multiple tribes will celebrate and empower the multiple aspects of you. Extroverts, this may work better for you. Just remember that what works for you may not yet be written anywhere.
Happy to hold Space for you
If this is affecting your business and you need someone to hold your vulnerable thoughts confidentially, I'm here. If you go through any of my history, you'll see I've never aired a client's challenges nor spoken condescendingly to or about them. Everyone here contributes something priceless to this world whether or not that contribution serves for you or me.
You can follow me on social media (icons in the footer) or book a discovery call to see if we're a good fit first. When you're ready, book your first session here.
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About the Author
Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, is a dedicated mom, keynote speaker and entrepreneurial strategy consultant focused on sustainable business models for premium services entrepreneurs and professionals. President and founder of Successiory and her signature "Mindful Entrepreneurship for Mindful Affluence™", Crystal-Marie works with professionals who want to build sustainable (livable) business models around their lifestyles and create sustainable client community on social media. She also speaks and delivers workshops at business and motivational conferences on authenticity, entrepreneurial strategy — pricing, process, and pace i.e. feasible schedules and productivity — and client social media community. Connect with her and subscribe at www.successiory.ca
